That thing they call love

I am not a sucker for the valentines’ fervor. And owing to my recent view of consumerism, I only believe more strongly that it is yet another day to indulge people in spending – it’s good for the economy they say… so long then, you won’t hear me say another word against it, if that’s the case! 😀

Let me digress, for this post is about something else. Coincidental to Valentine’s Day weekend, we happened to watch a sort of romCom today; Drew Barrymore’s ‘going the distance’. This was about a boy meets girl in NYC (like we haven’t seen a gazillion of those already) and how they work a long distance relationship between SFO and NYC. I am not going into the nuances of the movie, but it is a good one-time watch and I would have preferred if they hadn’t tried hard to give it the happy-ending in bollywood style!

It reminded me once again that the most loved love-stories of our times are the ones that break your heart and tear you apart. They leave so much unsaid and undone that the feeling of “what it could have been” is far exhilarating than “what it is”.

It was only last week that I was hunting for a copy of the classic Malayalam movie ‘Vandanam’. Although filled with many laughs and unrealistic drama, the climax is what takes home a winner. It ends with separation of two people in love, out of circumstances not within their control. And like a dagger through your heart the screen closes with them in cars right next to each other at a traffic signal; each wanting to find out where the other is, not realizing they are just a head turn away. The signal turns green and the cars go separate ways. It sold, because the story was set in a time with no cell phones or internet and finding someone from change of addresses and landline numbers was almost next to impossible.

Another movie that I watched recently ‘Bridges of Madison County’ is a hands-down winner in this arena. The most gripping scene of the movie, fueled with some brilliant music, is Francesca fighting her tears and herself from leaving the car she is waiting in with her husband, to the car in front of them being driven by Robert. The scene is so dizzying to the viewer that I almost wanted to go for the car door knob in anticipation. And then the music mellows, Francesca takes control of herself and Robert drives away like a lost cause and she makes a decision for her family and wallows on ‘what it could have been’ for the rest her life. My favorite quote in the movie that says a thousand words is – “This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.”

There are many such classics I am sure, each hauntingly beautiful, which can be easily reduced to shallow stories, if not for the way they end. So what if Jack hadn’t died? What if Jessie had stepped up her act? And then there are movies like Notting Hill and Serendipity, which apparently give one a sugar high, for they are fantasy at its best. And the same can be told for every product of the Karan Johar factory!

So for this valentines day, when the cable companies will flood you with happy stories all day, plan to throw a few tragic tales too…It is always good to add a few tragedies to life, I say… It helps you appreciate when the good times come along!


A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you
everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own
attention so you can change your life.  A true soul mate is probably the most
important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and
smack you awake.  But to live with a soul mate forever.  Nah.  Too painful.
Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself
to you, and then they leave.  And thank God for it.

Excerpt from Eat Pray Love




2 thoughts on “That thing they call love

  1. sapna says:

    yah…like a lot of things u write….i sort of agree with this….and as usual it makes me think – Always the “what it could have been” makes it so classic. Also makes me appreciate what i have… 🙂

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